You know, I always found the naivety story. Or as you know it. The nativity story. To be the most amusing part of the bible. See, anybody who believes in the virgin birth has to have a virgin brain. God’s science and realities of this universe have not yet penetrated that poor bible victim’s mind.
The most amusing part comes in when you start thinking about it logically. Mary and Joseph deliver the baby Jesus in a shed full of animals outside Bethlehem. I never, ever heard a historian confirming that delivering babies under 1 second, according to the movie makers, was an essential skill among Carpenters. But, maybe it was the talking donkey, like from Shrek. After all, it’s just a story, as the priest of the Vatican city say themselves.
What really gets me laughing is the three Kings. Which, of course, were not Kings. They were called “Magi”. Literal translation. Astrologers and Wiseman of high courts practicing the arts of Magic. So basically, I had Merlin, Dumbledore, and Gandalf bearing gifts right after I was born. Right when King Herod sends out his assassins to find and kill me. And here is what happened according to the bible:
This is what my Mages essentially said and did: “Hey little God, here is your gold. Herod’s guards are following us. Sorry, we gotta go!” What the hell is that about Gandalf? Merlin?! Can I change the Myrth for Excalibur? I doubt I can repel the assassins with a scented smoke! And Dumbeldore, take your chest of gold and leave me with a cloak of invisibility! And what the hell happened to that chest of gold?! We never heard of it ever again, did we?
That’s where it gets really funny. Herods Guards on fast Horses in the movies. Joseph and Mery, with little baby Jesus, are on a magical freaking donkey on their way to Egyp, just strolling it lightly. There is no rush! It’s not like there is a chest of Gold to buy horses and a one-way ticket to Egypt, right?
Here is why it’s the stupidest thing ever. The Bible is full of miracles and wonders. Except when baby Jesus needed it the most. Only a fool. Only a light-minded human being can truly believe that the bible is a word of god. It’s not. The bible is the biggest hoax committed upon humanity. And the Virgin birth was stolen from other stories of other Gods, like God Horus and others. It was put into the bible by the power-hungry bishops at the council of Nicea. Hell, If I was Egypt, I would sue the Vatican city for copyright infringement. There is no need for stupid miracles of that sort. There is reincarnation. That is how I came into this world last time. That’s how I came into this world now.
Reincarnation is a thing. My dear Colleague, the Dalai Lama, is one of the higher souls working on the living library project on earth. Why do you think even we gay guys care for Children? Self-interest. I’d like to one day reincarnate into humanity and be a baby again without homophobia, racism, and maybe even a planet that is still habitable! The concept of soul holds true. We come and go into this world via reincarnations. And there is no need for special transdimensional doors or virgin births. This world is already a miracle. And it would be a miracle if the bible victims start using what was given to them. It’s called the brain.
Here is the bottom line: God is not a show-off. He does not need that. Reincarnation works fine. There is no need for stories or miracles like that. Two thousand years ago, I was born like you. I traveled. And was studying and learning. And when the time came, I met my man Judas Iscariot and fell in love. And that’s how I reached the state of mind that I call Christus. The state of enlightenment. A human being connected to the network of the universe where I had access to apps and tools and could do the things you read about. You call them miracles. To me, it was like you using your cell phone. That’s our task. Me and my man’s mission this time around. Because if we fail, then the human experiment will be canceled.
Please don’t forget. This is my belief. A theory of mine based on the power of emotions, my visions, observations, and my deduction from the notes my disciples and I left two thousand years ago that I will try to prove with my man through the kiss of destiny on salvation. Tune into my podcast and join the conversation if you have any questions.